Call it Autophobia or Monophobia – The penalties we pay for the fear of loneliness looms upon us all like a dangling pendulum, waiting to strangle us in the next second that we are vulnerable. The agonies of being all alone during Christmas, holidays or weekends are decipherable however, like any other reaction of a chemical equation, there are miserably two sides to it and often we overpass or garble it.
The fear of loneliness contributes to people making the weightiest and most unfortunate decisions may that be in choosing a partner or any other significant life preference. If only we understood the entire pie chart of were lies ‘True Love’ and ‘Not So True Love’; we’d save ourselves from hypocritical evaluations, wretchedness and causing a torrent of depressed souls.
People who drown in such phobia indefinitely conclude wrong choices about the company that they keep, they encapsulate to an unnecessary conscience which tells them to privilege and entertain any one over the appropriate one. They end up choosing the 20th category of the worst out of the 200th peak of the best. The calmest souls are those who reconcile that having coffee alone in their nearest parlor on a weekend is not equivalent to being unhappy.
Being with someone we aren’t meant to be with is ‘bearable’. But only a soul with apt judgment would know that; that sentence in its origin and birth must be frowned upon. It isn’t as rippled and ruffled as bearing another paper cut, its rather an extension to a lifetime of awry. Every trip to the Middle East or Asia will be ruined, every dinner date will be trampled upon and every individual success would be compromised and demolished. All because of the ‘slightly bearable’ partner that we chose.
What may start as a ramshackled fraction of disarray will gradually end up in sexual vexation, ripped out finances and ironically, a nature of loneliness that has greater infinite power compared to even that the subdued effects of ‘being on our own’ would have. We are at the mercy of the fear of loneliness and we, in all our subconscious and knowledgeable level, give in to it, every time. All because so scared are we to have dinner on our own.
It has been so maligned to imagine sending out Thanksgiving Cards alone or walk into a party without a date that eventually, it simmers down to the fact that we only need the so called significant other to compensate our weaknesses. By choosing one out of fear, we build up a wall that disbars us from getting to know other potential lives and figures and ultimately, getting to know ourselves too. How many of us are friends with our own minds, feelings and ideas and only cling on to those soaked by others?
So many epidemic questions regarding our future, career and solitude brushed under the rug only because our opportunity choice at that point was to chat with the other about movies or gardening. We grow used to the mediocrity that our lives bestow upon us which is even sadder than feeling anger, resentment or frustration. We suppress our needs and lack its knowledge, thinking we have everything we need. But in concreteness, what else does this scenario comprehend? Existential Crisis.